Life with Kids

If You Give a Mom the Day Off – A Cautionary Tale

Mother’s Day is just a few short weeks days away, and I’m sure my husband and children are frantically scanning catalogues and websites looking for a present for me. I’m certain that when I walked into the girls’ room last week and they suddenly stopped talking that it was because they were plotting some sort of special surprise. (What else could it be?). And I have no doubt that the boys are looking around the yard and farm to see what sort of projects they can accomplish in my honor. (Of course they are.)  So, how do I tell them that what I most desire, that the thing that would make my Mother’s Day truly perfect, would be an entire day all to myself?  Just me.  All alone.

It’s really what I want. In fact, I think I deserve it. But I also know, from my very, very limited experience with solitude, just how my day off would go. It would go the way I think it would for many mothers.  Something like this…

If you give a mom the day off, she will grab a good book and her favorite coffee mug.

If she grabs her favorite coffee mug, she will notice the breakfast dishes still in the sink, so she will do the dishes.

If she does dishes, she will need a clean towel.

If she needs a clean towel, she will realize there aren’t any.

If a mom realizes there aren’t any clean towels, she will decide to do some laundry.

If she decides to do some laundry, she will go to her son’s room to get his hamper.

If a mom goes to her son’s room to get his hamper, she will notice a weird smell.

If she notices a weird smell, she will search his room, looking under the bed, in the closet, in the hamper, behind the bed, in the backpack…

If she looks in his backpack, she will find a smelly old sandwich

If a mom finds a smelly old sandwich, she will remember that she is out of bread.

If a mom remembers that she is out of bread she will go to the store.

If a mom goes to the store, she will also get milk, cheese, eggs, chips, apples, grapes, toilet paper, dog food, shampoo, and a bar of dark chocolate to go with her coffee.

If she buys a bar of dark chocolate to go with her coffee, a mom will go home, to her quiet house, grab a good book and her favorite coffee mug….and realize that she is out of coffee.

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Of course by this time, Daddy and the kids are home full of tales about their fun day out and quite pleased with themselves for giving Mommy time alone.

The moral of the story?  Don’t give a mom a day off.  Give her a day away.

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image source: mothersdaygift.org

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13 thoughts on “If You Give a Mom the Day Off – A Cautionary Tale

  1. That sounds about right! You have to love them for trying… but I don’t think there is such a thing as a day off for a mom. Just a few minutes with two free hands to do all the chores that still need done!

  2. I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!! We love the book, If You Give a Mouse A Cookie…. and this is great! I read it to my kids and they laughed (they know me!). I will be sharing this. Thank you. 🙂

    1. This probably just applies to women in general. A woman can’t really relax any place where there is work to be done.

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