Last weekend I took my daughters shopping. It was one of those glorious February days when God gives us a little sneak preview of what is to come. It was sunny and 70 degrees, and everywhere we went people were in shorts, t-shirts, and flip flops. They were riding bikes and eating at outdoor cafes. Everyone seemed more alert, happy, and hopeful.
Well, that is everyone except me. The sudden onset of warm weather and the realization of impending swimsuit season forced me to face a difficult reality. Charming Friends, I suffer from YPS. Yoga Pants Syndrome is a serious condition that affects millions of women each year. YPS primarily effects women over the age of 30. School teachers, stay-at-home moms, and women whose jobs are affected by the weather are most prone to YPS; however, it can strike at any age regardless of occupation. This heartbreaking problem is caused by wearing yoga pants, (not the same pair) instead of actual clothing day after day during snowy or wintry weather.
While experts aren’t entirely sure about the origins of YPS, (some believe it is a mutation of a now nearly eradicated condition known as VWUS,- Velour Warm-Up Syndrome) there are a number of factors known to contribute to YPS.
- Owning multiple pairs of yoga pants
- Frequent baking
- Failure to adjust exercise levels to compensate for baking
- Netflix or Amazon movie marathons
Worried you might be a victim of YPS? If you exhibit one or more of the following symptoms, you may very well be one of the millions who suffer from this cruel condition:
- An aversion to restrictive clothing (anything that snaps or buckles) and/or and aversion wearing a tucked in shirt
- You have ever said, “If I just wear some flats and a cute top, these totally pass as dress pants.”
- You suddenly consider shoes the linchpin of your wardrobe (note: women in the advanced stages of YPS can no longer see their shoes and might not exhibit this symptom.)
- You have considered buying Pajama Jeans, sweats, or other forms of leisure wear
- You have gone up a size – in yoga pants.
If you or someone you love is suffering from YPS, there is hope. Pinterest offers a variety of treatment options such as low-carb recipes, exercise routines, and inspirational, albeit traumatic, photos of scantily clad women with captions that say things like, “Sweat is Just Liquid Awesome.” Or “If You Have Time for Facebook, You Have Time for Exercise.”
Yoga Pants Syndrome is heartbreaking, but together, we can defeat this terrible affliction…unless it snows again. If it snows again, we’re screwed.